A small word. If you were being chased by a tiger you would be screaming it.
If your house was on fire you would be screaming it.
And it would appear they are about the only times us business women say that word.
Why is that?
What stops us very talented, educated, successful women from saying four letters?
Why are we so frightened of saying help?
I’ve learnt recently that I don’t say the word at all. And its become natural just to “get on with it”. I’m capable and able so I just do it. That’s good right?
or is it?
You see going it alone is fabulous for so many reasons, however never saying help is dangerous when it comes to success. I worked on my own success 2 weeks ago with a mentor, because I am always looking for ways to power up my own success as I do for those of my clients and that of the women attending the BWN, and I realised working with this business woman that I just don’t ask for help. And even if its offered I tend to say “I’m okay, thanks for the offer.” So I set a goal to change that and ask for help. It’s already paying off dividends in my business. (I really recommend creating clear goals, you are far more likely to achieve them that way and they don’t turn into gaols, which is a goal gone wrong if you aren’t clear enough about it!)
I know you are mega busy so let’s look at why you should accept help and how to do it in easy quick top tips;
- If you ask for help then you can do the things you are good at, which means you can get through your to do list faster. Which means more brain space to come up with more creative solutions. More you time. And more time to do the money making bits of your business. All positives right?
- If you ask for help you are enabling someone else. Letting someone else be good at things is good for other people too. It’s not fair that you do all the work and get all the praise. Spread the work, spread the praise, spread the opportunities. If someone else does the work then could get an opportunity off of the back of it. Remember success is better shared. (It really is!)
- Create a strong enough sense of pain to make you ask for help. If you don’t ask for help what are you agreeing to? Less success? Less money? Less free time? Less family time? More work? More time in front of the screen?
- What are your long term goals? Are they really achievable if you do everything yourself? Can you physically do it all alone? Tot up the hours. When I work with clients its amazing how often they over or under estimate how long a task is going to take.
- Fear of what people will think of you could be stopping you from asking from help. What are you assuming people are going to be thinking? Power up your self belief and what you tell yourself about you. If you love yourself enough (and we are not talking about a big head here, just a genuine appreciation of doing what’s right for you) then you would respect you as much as you do anyone else at work, right?
- New skills and ideas could be yours if you take on board someone elses help. As brilliant as you are (and yes you are brilliant) by getting someone else’s input you could learn a new way of doing tasks that could make you more productive and give you new skills. There fore powering up your success.
- Success really is better shared. By letting someone else help you, you grow your network in a sustainable way. And by doing that, you grow a trusted network. If you really need help in the future, by having taking the leap of faith and trusted someone before you will know who you can rely on in the future.
A brilliant business woman reminded me of these points when I posted a public thank you. Because as people help you I think its always good to say thank you. (My thank you’s don’t tend to be thank you cards, I tend to give testimonials on LinkedIn and Facebook so that they can grow their business and use them powerfully in their marketing to gain more happy customers – just a thought for you there!) This lady said;
You’re very welcome – I’m pleased my diary allowed me to help. I can relate to the whole asking for help. I’m incredibly independent which is positive. There are times when working as a team gets much better and bigger results and you get to enjoy the journey so much more when you have great people around you (cheesy I know but true!!) Xx
You know what? I don’t think its cheesy at all. A Business woman with a powerful network is far more likely to be successful. See you at some BWN networking events this month, let’s help each other, network together and do business. It’s going to be an awesome month for business.
I’m on TV speaking about issues impacting on women in business and at Mums Net Work Fest national conference. And we have a very special BBC Essex Radio 30th Birthday show being broadcast live from my house on the 13th May. So much good stuff for business!
To get my book to help increase sales, confidence and success the 6 week course or learning about coaching and training visit. www.mandieholgate.co.uk and do say hi on social media too (all accessible via my website) its great to connect and grow my network!